Life as a procrastinator

Procrastination is my middle name. When it comes to pretty much everything in life, I find a way to postpone it. Like growing up, settling down, getting a real job. It took me eight years to get my driver's license. Just saying. It's a part of me that I'm so used to, I forget I'm even doing it. 

While living on an island in Canada, I dreamt of having a place and endless time to write and do nothing but write. But at that point, I was working three jobs, seven days a week. Even though I had a house, there was not enough time. Why not Mexico, I thought. I can fly to Mexico, rent a room for a couple of months and just write. Yes! The plan was there. The only thing was, it felt too easy. Why fly when I can drive? Enjoy the scenery, visit the USA. A three month road trip, yes! And then, when I arrive in Mexico and travel around for a bit, I will find a place to stay for a while and finally start writing.

Perfect. Except for the fact that plans would not be plans if they wouldn't change as soon as you think you're in control. So Mexico turned into Spanish daydreams of living in Granada and there, I would write. Driving by yourself for many many miles through wide open roads is the most fertile place and time for new ideas to pop up. So Spain it would be! I would fly there after visiting friends and family in Belgium for Christmas. And find a spot, set up shop, a room with a big window, a desk with a paper and pencil, looking out over beautiful Granada.

Perfect! Until the heat of the midday desert sun projected a thought in my head: why fly? When I can walk! The Camino de Santiago, and then a bit further down to Granada! Genius! It would take me a couple of months, I'd collect so many stories along the way. Until I arrive in the south of Spain and burst with writings! Like an explosion of inspiration, no time to stop moving that pen, and when the paper runs out, there are always the walls! Like a poet I live in a cave, words scribbled all around me. In hibernation for months, wrapped in stories to keep me warm. 

By the time I settle in, summer will be on its way. Festivals, friends, holidays. I might get itchy feet again. And that, my friend, is how you procrastinate like a pro. 

Exciting news, hot off the press!

Whenever you meet people, you change them like they change you. You grow because of the shared experiences and new perspectives on life. Seeing everything with fresh eyes, over and over again as you talk to different people. Some leave big impressions, like a pair of new glasses you can't take off. They take you to places inside and outside of yourself you've never explored before. It can be a journey of love, fear of the unknown and relief when you discover things you can embrace within yourself. It can be the ultimate slap in the face you needed to get off your ass and start fulfilling your life's goal right then and there. 

I've always believed there is a mission, a reason why you're on this planet. It's been a hell of a ride to figure out what it was exactly and I'm sure I will be looking for the answer the rest of my life. I've always felt a tiny bit of envy meeting people who've got it all planned, like a list of things to do and ticking them off as they go. Study journalism, become a journalist, get a wife and kids, build a nice house and maybe even show your face on tv and be famous. I started with the same idea, but my path took a left turn when I planned on going straight to ticking boxes. 

The list had to be edited, erased, changed eight times a day to keep up with where I thought I was going. The need to be traveling when I finally created a nest, the longing for a home while being on the road. The urge to book a ticket to the other end of the world when friends started getting married and having children. Keep moving to find peace of mind. Traveling as a way to find my ultimate life goal. Realising cliche quotes like 'it's not about the destination, but the journey' are true. 

I talked and listened to many people in all kinds of languages, with or without words, collecting stories in my backpack. I did the whole yoga and meditation, reading spiritual books until I started sounding like one. I tried to find routines while traveling, just to journey to new places as soon as I found myself stuck in one. The endless road, the same questions asked, the same vague answers given.

I travel by myself often, yet I'm never alone. I choose to surround myself with people all day every day to learn and share. It's easy to get distracted when friends are around. So the goal searching gets postponed. And I love postponing. One of my many skills!

Until I booked a ticket to Bali, planning to rent a beach shack and be by myself to write, snorkel and drink fresh coconuts. Instead I took another left turn and ended up in a friend's house, met beautiful people, booked a flight out but decided to miss it, stay and get trapped in the Balinese rabbit hole of easy living. I met people who made such a big impression on me, it's hard to leave the bubble of inspiration I'm currently living in. 

The night in Ubud filled with poetry, French chansons and conversations left me beaming with energy. I had a strange but comfortable feeling of coming home, seeing possibilities and grabbing them. Squeezing life like lemon juice and getting everything out of it, pulp and all. My friend must have noticed and decided to put my cards on the table. I've never had a tarot reading before as I thought it would come my way when the time was right. Plus there are probably a lot of dodgy future tellers out there, who take a better look at your wallet than at their crystal ball. 

I was ready for anything. Good and bad, bring it on. He talked about my many passions, that the time has come to choose one and go for it. Dedicate life to it, share it, get rid of all distractions and insecurities and just go. Right now. No time to waste. The much needed slap in the face. 

So I wrote. All night. And all the next days and nights. Finally realising this is what I have been doing my entire life, like a red thread connecting dots. It's been a part of me while traveling and at the kitchen table at home. After 26 years, it's about time I share my writing with the world. I gathered many stories along the way and wrote poetry like a mad woman. 

I'm excited to announce my FIRST BOOK OF POEMS is coming out soon. Handwritten or typed, as you like. Watch this space for more information while I'm giving my all, writing until my fingers go numb and ink stains cover my face. 

Thank you to everyone I shared stories with, strangers turning into friends, supporting me by smiling, talking or pushing me over my limits. Thank you endlessly for reading this blog, for your feedback and messages. You make my day. You make my life!!!

Sending love and fresh writings your way!