the first thing I noticed was this festival was unlike anything I had ever seen before. Fifteen thousand dressed up people dancing around like one big colour explosion. From the jolly Gourmet Goons sporting enormous moustaches to overexited types dressed like the kind of clown you wouldn't let your kids near. After minutes of manically rifling through my floordrobe, I decided my wedding dress was going to be my festival outfit. BAM. Instant life enhancer! I got married for the fourth time, had a free coffee, worked all day in the Gourmet Goons' kitchen, danced in the dust, ran behind water trucks and all of that without getting the dress extremely dirty. I love being a bride! And I'm really good at it, too.
As the old saying goes, if you're tired of getting married and wearing your wedding dress 24 hours a day, you're tired of life. But it got hot. Real hot. Especially under a multi layer dress that has shoulder pads and fake boobs added to the design. It's a whole lot to carry around when temperatures rise over 40 degrees. So I bought two pairs of wedding hotpants. The saleswoman promised me my inner tigress would emerge and seduction would become my super-power. Also, I might get swamped by young men. After hearing that, I didn't even bother wearing a skirt, I just wanted to show my new undies to the world! I realised this festival might be the only opportunity to wear my underpants outside without being arrested. I was even working in the food stall, selling plates of kangaroo while wearing my wedding panties. And it was glorious! From now on, I vote for no pants weekends!
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